Mad world
by cornelia.schuitema
Summary: Mad World songfic I don't own Sherlock or the song, they belongs to BBc and Gary Jules John and Sherlock has a fight, and as John leaves, saying that he may not come back Sherlock turns back to drugs...


**Mad World Sherlock BBc songfic**

_All around me are familiar faces. Worn out places, worn out faces._

Interesting...this. The world was floating around him, out and in of focus. Faces swam above him. "Oh, 'ello John..." he muttered as John's face came into his view. 'Oh...Lestrade was also here...' The detective inspectors face disappeared again...and Mycroft's replaced it."...Why're you 'ere...fuck off..." Mycroft stayed...the world kept floating around him, where was he? The flat...maybe the lab? He didn't know...didn't care.

_Bright and early for the daily races. Going nowhere, going nowhere._

"Sherlock, I am back now...do you want to talk?" It was John...he was at the flat then...in his bedroom apparently. He tried to speak, to get up from the bed...but he could barely lift his hand. "Okay, you don't need to answer me...Are you still sad? Look, Sherlock I'm sorry, I didn't mean it...we can talk later right?" Why would he be sad? He felt wonderful...right. It was wonderful, this...his mind so light.

_And their tears are filling up their glasses. No expression, no expression._

Why would he be sad? He thought back at that evening...it was so easy, his mind so fast...John had been angry at him, why? It wasn't like the other times, when John went to get some air, and when he was back it was good...no this had been different. This had been a real fight...

_Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow. No tomorrow, no tomorrow._

John had been screaming at him."A head? Really Sherlock, a head...we have talked about this!"He had replayed that it was for a case. John didn't listen...It had trapped up. Soon they fought about other thing...yes almost everything."And then there is the violin..."John had screamed,"...the bloody violin. Why can't you respect that I want to sleep sometimes? Do you care about me at all?" He had replayed that he had warned him about it...that if he didn't like it he could leave...Sherlock hadn't meant it. But he had been angry..."Yes maybe...maybe I should leave." John had stormed up to his room, leaving Sherlock alone. As he came down he had a bag with clothes with him."Will you pick up milk when you get back...?" Sherlock had shouted after him as he walked to the door, it was meant as a joke. But John had turned around angry."What makes you think that I'll come back? You know what, maybe Donovan is right about you..." Sherlock had looked at him confused. "Right about what?" John walked to the door, opened it and turned around in the doorway."That you're a freak..." Then he was gone. Sherlock just sat there, he couldn't believe what had happened. John had called him freak... Sherlock didn't ever notice the tears that began to stream down his face...

John had left, and he hadn't come back...not even after a week...

_And I find it kind of funny, I find if kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had..._

His friend was gone, he had left and he hadn't come back...Sherlock had gone to his room this morning. John wouldn't come back...his only friend had left...hated him, thought he was a freak. If John said so it probably was true...he really was the freak that everyone said he was. When John wasn't back after a week, he had gone to his bedroom. He had taken out the drug, that he had hidden there...for situations like this. He had taken the drug...not the usual dose, more...much more...to much. He didn't care...John probably wouldn't either...he had left.

_I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take..._

He had overdosed...he knew that. But he didn't care about that either. John was gone...he wouldn't come back and John hated him...He heard the door to his bedroom burst open...someone was screaming, he opened his eyes...John..."...'lo John..."He managed to gasp. He felt John's fingers against his neck...checking for pulse? He didn't care...John was here...why? John hated him...thought he was a freak...His mind were becoming dull...his eyes heavy...he wanted to sleep..."Sherlock! Look at me...Sherlock, Jesus...what did you take? You have to stay awake...an ambulance is coming..."Sherlock wanted to tell him...he tried...he couldn't even open his mouth...His eyes drifted away again...struggling to keep focus on John."Hey, Sherlock please...don't do this to me..."He looked sad...why did he look sad...Sherlock couldn't understand..."...you're... back...Joh' why...?" he mumbled, breathing getting harder by every second, his organs starting to fail..."Of course I came back...why wouldn't I? Sherlock...why did you do this..."Sherlock's eyes fell shout, but he jerked awake when John tapped his cheeks."...You left...hated 'e...I thou'th...I..." His eyes drifted away again. His vision getting darker around the edges...

_When people run in circles it's a very very...mad world..._

The paramedics burst trough the door...they were running around the room...'_round and round the garden like a teddy bear...'_...funny...he felt warm hands feeling after a pulse...faces danced before him again...in and out of focus...fast and slow...Unfamiliar this time...only John's was familiar...'Hello John...goodbye John...hello again...'...funny this...interesting...beautiful...but his sight started to fade...and suddenly it wasn't beautiful any more... the faces became dark...they grinned at him..._'round and round the garden...round and round the garden like a teddy bear...' _He was scared...he didn't want to die..._"That's what people DO!"_

_...mad world..._


End file.
